im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
