Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize