A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
