We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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