Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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