I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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