Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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