My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
