My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
