I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
