i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
