Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
