last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
