I wish you could order shots online.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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