i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
