There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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