well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
