Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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