i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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