dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
