I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
