Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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