Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
