Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
