Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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