Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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