Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
