I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
