just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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