Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
