just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
