Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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