Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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