just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize