no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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