We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Is Oprah even human
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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