So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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