Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she peed on how many people?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
