All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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