True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
