I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
