I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
