And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize