It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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