Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
