Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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