well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize