that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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