she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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