Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
