so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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