I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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