she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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