My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
