absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
