Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
