It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
