using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
