got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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