Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
